When the students are ready

Today I woke up in beautiful Puglia,  in the south part of Italy. 

I'm surrounded by olive trees,  fresh morning air and the promise of my practice.  Everyday is a new day, a new body and a new mind.  Everything I have done up until today adds up,  I know.  But when I face my mat its like the first one:  deep gratitude,  excitement and curiosity.

What is coming today? What is this day about? 

How am I?  Is there fear there?  Is there worry?

Am I missing something or someone?

Where is my mind? My heart?  

My heart flies to my friends in London who are right now with my teacher.  We are connected for sure.  I'm holding amazing students here and I see their progress in only 3 days we've been together.   Four more to go:  more openings to come.  Yes,  there is resistance in the beginning:  this method brings a lot out.  Entitlement,  doubt,  delusion,  mind patterns. 

But the magic is already moving us and I know exactly what will happen next.

It happens again and again...

After the initial resistance,  a wave of love will fill us up in unexceptional ways.  After the tedious study,  opening and sweat,  Grace will embrace us as a loving mother with no judgment nor criticism.  She will cradle our deepest fears and unworthiness with the blanket of shanti and relieve us of unnecessary noise.  

She will show herself up in our daily endeavors,  holding us from inside as we travel our lives and create what we need to create in this lifetime.   We are not alone.

We are not alone.

My children are also wrapped in this blanket of Love,  way beyond my own.  I'm their mother,  therefore,  my cells are in them and as I open mine to new dimensions,  theirs follow too.  That is why as parents our practice directly impacts our progeny.  I feel them as I breathe, knowing wherever they are they are also being held.

And I let go of any worry.   Life has stranded us from each other for a while, not easy but the reality right now.  I let go of any resistance towards what is and simply go to the place of loss,  the pain of being away from them and I honor what hurts.  

Then I sing the invocation and start my sun salutations. 

I feel the ache in my heart,  the breathe moving through me as sacred nectar.  I allow it to open up the wound and I let it bleed.  It bleeds inside out and now I'm crying.  Yes,  I miss them terribly yet I'm at peace.  

What a paradox.  What an undefinable contradiction. 

As students,  we do our practice without attaching ourselves to any end result.  We give our best and then let of expectations and ideas about how its supposed to look or feel.  Breath will take care of our most profound concerns,  existential ones.  She will also take care of those we miss.  

And then,  all those questions will sprout,  the questions only an awakened human being can start considering.

Death is coming.  Today or tomorrow.  Will I be ready to let go?  Will I be grateful for this life?  Am I doing the best I can today?  Is there any other way in which I can serve?

The series today is hard.  I dive into it in very good company.  Marvin and Dylan are here with Mark and also Tami.  The five of us,  each one in a different series,  move along in harmony and resonance. The dogs come to us when the going gets tough and lick our sweat. Then they go back to their napping,  listening to our grunts,  our sighs and observing us with attention.

When Mark is ready for the backhanding,   I'm there to hold him.  Marvin and Dylan instantly wake up and come to us.  They care for Mark and they want to know I'm holding him and caring for him.  

Additional amazing teachers are also supporting the space.

We breathe together and understand the opening will take us further.  We,  the students, are ready.  This lifetime has brought us together for one week,  yet this week can be everything we need to recalibrate everything.  I'm being recalibrated for sure:  the pain and the longing for my children ache,  but now in a different manner.  

This emptiness is a space of creation.  This longing my song for more surrender and trust.

We finish practice and rain cleans the property,  showers the trees and caresses our faces.  We are also being held by this sky, this earth and the deep thunderbolts.  The wind blows and remind us to stay free and open and as I leave the shala,  I realize this moment is the perfect moment.

As it it. 
Today.

Now.