I met an amazing woman many years ago.
She was smart, beautiful, a high end professional and also a caring mother. We met when we were both really young and I saw her in her ups and downs as she saw mine. She also went through a painful divorce but finally met her twin heart.
She started coming to my classes and I saw her blooming like a rose. I was so happy for her and her husband. She got pregnant and we were all part of this love story...a love story that like any other love story in this kingdom of samsara hala hala or illusion, ended up in a terrible tragedy.
She inspired me a lot to give. Her example is always with me, even though she is no more in this plane. She died very young leaving a very small baby girl and her brokenhearted son and man behind.
Life can be so brutally honest sometimes. More than honest, simply brutal. I grieved for her and her kids and husband.
I remember talking to her husband after she died as he was going through hell himself because of a custody case for his baby girl. No pain can be compared to that of losing a loved one and on top, having to battle a legal fight under the threat of losing what we love the most. It's what I'm going through now. I don't have a heart to breathe and yet, I have no option but to plan legal strategies, think about defense, anticipate more hell...with more than 300 days behind me without my beloved children.
I remember I told him to never give up. I remember I truly believed he would win the case...and he did. His daughter is now with him, as children should be when one of the parents dies. In case both parents are alive and the parents decide to separate, children should be living with both. These are the basic laws of life. Those who brought these souls to earth love them more than anyone else and should enjoy and share the blessing of their presences equally.
But the illusion is not to be underestimated, a wise teacher once said. It's insidious and ambitions to ruin our lives and shatter our hearts. It becomes especially cruel against those of us who work for the light and entangles us as much as she can so we give up and stop.
As I told my student, the secret is to never give up.
He shared with me his wife's last moments and I shared them here because they have sustained me in the nitty- gritty of these last ten months away from my babies.
She let go of life understanding love is all there is. Love that would later arrange things around so her daughter could embrace her father and live with him as the order of love rules, not as the legal laberynth arrogantly pretends to know. Human laws cannot understand the Law of Love. They cannot see into the tender heart of a baby and how much he needs both of his parents to grow up strong and steady. Both have something valuable to give and much spiritual support to do- both are crucial for the healthy development of the child.
In the tragedy of this story, she left this world knowing that he would do anything to be with the baby and take care of their daughter. She left in peace knowing her love was in the best hands. Many came and spoiled his reputation, the same way mine has been.
He kept going.
The babies become the living targets of this low strategies since they cannot defend themselves and suffer the absence of the stranded parent deeply and quietly.
I really cannot understand those who plot to take children away from their parents and parents themselves who do this against the one who gave them their own babies. Even with all their flaws, the reasons I decided to end the relationships, I always held the fathers of my children with respect. Some decide to put them in jail for money, some decide to suit them with lies. This violates once again the order of Love. I respect those who gave me my most precious treasure in this lifetime, even if I don't want them to be part of mine.
My friend died knowing Love is everything and Love brings order to chaos. As I write this, a fierce legal battle is being fought in Costa Rica in my name, a battle that will take years and years to come to an end. My children will be young adults by the time the final verdict comes out. They will read this blog one day and that is why i'm documenting everything here.
The presence of my friend in heaven gives me faith to keep going. The example of her husband and baby reuniting asks me to believe in miracles. Sometimes I feel so heartbroken I feel there is nothing in me to keep the head up. But this temporary darkness gives in after my practice and I understand I can hold all this pain in the center of my heart and then exhale love and understanding for my children. And not only mine but all the little kids that are entangled in a maze of hate and lies covered by the bitter taste of a life deprived of their mother's or father's love unfairly.
They cannot protest, they have their little minds in so much confusion. I know my babies so well and I know exactly how they feel. I know who is crying at night, who tries to be strong, which one daydreams in the bliss of good memories and gets distracted from homework. I know the one that draws pictures and hides them, the one who feels my love no matter what people around him say and the one who kicks his soccer ball hard so he can let go of some anger. A mother knows her cubs like no one else and as she gave them life, she also gives nurturing ground as she breathes the unspoiled truth of unconditional love- no matter where they are.
The mother is the safe ground for a child to explore life since our love is unconditional, pure and pristine. No other love can support a child like this because the law of love says
you should hold them inside you for nine months, give birth to them in the middle of tears and blood and hold them in your heart for the rest of your life.
To grow up without their mother is the sentence the wise legal authorities have imposed on my babies. I had only ten years with them, ten years that seem like a second right now. I was working so much and giving them the best I could as a single mother and then they were taken away from me, stranded from my loving arms as if they were puppies or kittens.
My children are wise deep souls and they will inquire about this in due time. Many knew my babies since they were born in a house whose doors were wide open to spiritual seekers from all over the world.
My children, like any other children, are pure love walking this earth and pure love cannot ever be blemished.
In the meantime, I face every day with the last words my wise friend uttered before leaving this world
"Love is everything".
I understand now Love oversees people's hearts and minds. Love knows who's heart is pure. Love is holding me and my babies in her hand, kneading us together more and more so we can become more pliable to her ways and come to understand we cannot be separated from each other, no matter how hard others try or how things may look in the surface.
Love is the glue that holds souls together and its beyond physical distance, emotional manipulation, even beyond death.
Love is saying
"Trust your babies will come to know the truth in due time.
Don't grieve.
Anything you love and lose comes back in another way."
She was smart, beautiful, a high end professional and also a caring mother. We met when we were both really young and I saw her in her ups and downs as she saw mine. She also went through a painful divorce but finally met her twin heart.
She started coming to my classes and I saw her blooming like a rose. I was so happy for her and her husband. She got pregnant and we were all part of this love story...a love story that like any other love story in this kingdom of samsara hala hala or illusion, ended up in a terrible tragedy.
She inspired me a lot to give. Her example is always with me, even though she is no more in this plane. She died very young leaving a very small baby girl and her brokenhearted son and man behind.
Life can be so brutally honest sometimes. More than honest, simply brutal. I grieved for her and her kids and husband.
I remember talking to her husband after she died as he was going through hell himself because of a custody case for his baby girl. No pain can be compared to that of losing a loved one and on top, having to battle a legal fight under the threat of losing what we love the most. It's what I'm going through now. I don't have a heart to breathe and yet, I have no option but to plan legal strategies, think about defense, anticipate more hell...with more than 300 days behind me without my beloved children.
I remember I told him to never give up. I remember I truly believed he would win the case...and he did. His daughter is now with him, as children should be when one of the parents dies. In case both parents are alive and the parents decide to separate, children should be living with both. These are the basic laws of life. Those who brought these souls to earth love them more than anyone else and should enjoy and share the blessing of their presences equally.
But the illusion is not to be underestimated, a wise teacher once said. It's insidious and ambitions to ruin our lives and shatter our hearts. It becomes especially cruel against those of us who work for the light and entangles us as much as she can so we give up and stop.
As I told my student, the secret is to never give up.
He shared with me his wife's last moments and I shared them here because they have sustained me in the nitty- gritty of these last ten months away from my babies.
She let go of life understanding love is all there is. Love that would later arrange things around so her daughter could embrace her father and live with him as the order of love rules, not as the legal laberynth arrogantly pretends to know. Human laws cannot understand the Law of Love. They cannot see into the tender heart of a baby and how much he needs both of his parents to grow up strong and steady. Both have something valuable to give and much spiritual support to do- both are crucial for the healthy development of the child.
In the tragedy of this story, she left this world knowing that he would do anything to be with the baby and take care of their daughter. She left in peace knowing her love was in the best hands. Many came and spoiled his reputation, the same way mine has been.
He kept going.
The babies become the living targets of this low strategies since they cannot defend themselves and suffer the absence of the stranded parent deeply and quietly.
I really cannot understand those who plot to take children away from their parents and parents themselves who do this against the one who gave them their own babies. Even with all their flaws, the reasons I decided to end the relationships, I always held the fathers of my children with respect. Some decide to put them in jail for money, some decide to suit them with lies. This violates once again the order of Love. I respect those who gave me my most precious treasure in this lifetime, even if I don't want them to be part of mine.
My friend died knowing Love is everything and Love brings order to chaos. As I write this, a fierce legal battle is being fought in Costa Rica in my name, a battle that will take years and years to come to an end. My children will be young adults by the time the final verdict comes out. They will read this blog one day and that is why i'm documenting everything here.
The presence of my friend in heaven gives me faith to keep going. The example of her husband and baby reuniting asks me to believe in miracles. Sometimes I feel so heartbroken I feel there is nothing in me to keep the head up. But this temporary darkness gives in after my practice and I understand I can hold all this pain in the center of my heart and then exhale love and understanding for my children. And not only mine but all the little kids that are entangled in a maze of hate and lies covered by the bitter taste of a life deprived of their mother's or father's love unfairly.
They cannot protest, they have their little minds in so much confusion. I know my babies so well and I know exactly how they feel. I know who is crying at night, who tries to be strong, which one daydreams in the bliss of good memories and gets distracted from homework. I know the one that draws pictures and hides them, the one who feels my love no matter what people around him say and the one who kicks his soccer ball hard so he can let go of some anger. A mother knows her cubs like no one else and as she gave them life, she also gives nurturing ground as she breathes the unspoiled truth of unconditional love- no matter where they are.
The mother is the safe ground for a child to explore life since our love is unconditional, pure and pristine. No other love can support a child like this because the law of love says
you should hold them inside you for nine months, give birth to them in the middle of tears and blood and hold them in your heart for the rest of your life.
To grow up without their mother is the sentence the wise legal authorities have imposed on my babies. I had only ten years with them, ten years that seem like a second right now. I was working so much and giving them the best I could as a single mother and then they were taken away from me, stranded from my loving arms as if they were puppies or kittens.
My children are wise deep souls and they will inquire about this in due time. Many knew my babies since they were born in a house whose doors were wide open to spiritual seekers from all over the world.
My children, like any other children, are pure love walking this earth and pure love cannot ever be blemished.
In the meantime, I face every day with the last words my wise friend uttered before leaving this world
"Love is everything".
I understand now Love oversees people's hearts and minds. Love knows who's heart is pure. Love is holding me and my babies in her hand, kneading us together more and more so we can become more pliable to her ways and come to understand we cannot be separated from each other, no matter how hard others try or how things may look in the surface.
Love is the glue that holds souls together and its beyond physical distance, emotional manipulation, even beyond death.
Love is saying
"Trust your babies will come to know the truth in due time.
Don't grieve.
Anything you love and lose comes back in another way."
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