The path to awakening

I'm writing from a beautiful finca in Mallorca.  The peace of this land with thousands of olives,  the blue sky and deep silence of the magical island heals my soul and my bones.  

Its been nine long months away from my family.  I miss them daily as I walk this earth and breathe this ocean air.  The stillness that surrounds me mirrors my spirit in this moment of my life:  heartbroken mama and yet, willing to keep moving forward into the sacred meetings of unexpected beauty.  

I could choose to give in into fear and armor myself,  pretending I'm ¨healing¨-  when in reality I would be hiding.  I'm in,  all the way,  saying yes to life in this moment,  even though it hurts tremendously. 

Opening to life's events means being vulnerable enough to sip in whatever comes our way without retaliating or condemning the experience.   Holding back our reaction means having the awareness to take the punch deeply into ourselves and observing where it takes us.  This punch has taken me away from my familiar  places into the immensity of this world.  It has pushed me far into unknown possibilities and invited me to take a step forward,  no matter how I feel inside.  

I could not have done this on my own.  There is a secret formula I practice and I travel the world sharing it with those who are ready to wake up.    It´s a formula to return to our true nature and expand everything good we are and release everything we are not.  This means we must cross through the wilderness of fears and have the courage to show up no mattered how shattered,  no matter how bruised and torn. 

Hiding will not work for us.   We need to step up.  Hiding would be dying to the possibilities of being broken.  From it we can rise higher than we expected and we are definitely ready to question many things we took for granted.  

In my case,  what does it mean to be a woman.  

Where is my right to live my life in peace.  

How can I be of service to others. 

Can love exist without freedom?

I needed true answers to these questions and for the answers I had to surrender my life as I knew it.   As I look back,  the trauma of being catapulted from my home and children has transformed into a deep desire to dive even deeper into new areas of my spirit.  

I know feelings come and go;  I know I'm not my emotions or my worries.  Yet,  every trigger hurts,  yes,  it hurts infinitely but now I'm willing to feel it all the way.   

I'm choosing  to use that  pain to understand better about who I am. 

I feel the thorn and the feeling takes me into more awareness.  Its not confortable,  I'm walking with it everywhere I go.   I'm learning to use the discomfort to unveil what needs to come out into the light.  

Some days are calm; others are extremely hard. 

Yesterday,  new moon day,  the absence of my children burnt like hell.  I spent the day crying and witnessing how my heart is always ready to break open even more.   I use my breathe to go through the fire as I used it when they were born in between the waves that would bring them into my arms.   I use my practice as a mirror to watch were I feel stuck or impotent,  trying not to judge and be a witness of where my mind becomes frozen as a piece of ice or melts like a river giving in into the peace of radical acceptance. 

I have so much more material right now to observe and witness the waves of my mind. Many years ago I asked for truth and everything that was not was taken away from me.  Every relationship that was mediocre or made me suffer is gone now and in this blissful devastation the love for all my children shines bright in a new sky of awareness. 

Those who were impairing its full manifestation have disappeared from my horizon because I was the one holding on to them in my mind.  They have completely dematerialized,  becoming impotent ghosts in front of the reality of my new world.  They have become faded images of beings I thought I needed to survive. 

Grace washed my life completely like a huge tsunami.  I felt I was drowning,  trying to hold on to old furniture and pieces of debris.  

Now the huge wave is gone and I'm left with the very basics:  this body, this heart,  this soul that bathes in calm turquoise waters contained in the warm and tender home of my skin.  

I have a new home.   A loving partner.  An intense desire to be with my Guru.  A yoga practice.  Travel.  New souls meetings.  The sky.  The earth.  My hands,  my eyes.  I am richer and happier that I ever was, surrounded by the simplicity of a bare life as I never knew before.  Gone all the familiar places.  Gone are all the dark energies that were sucking my veins like vampires.  

I'm free like the wind that comes every morning into our shala here in Mallorca and washes away any doubts or confusion that don't belong to the truthfulness of the present moment. 


The love has grown.  In the distance it has become vast and open like the ocean.  This love has made me who I am today,  gypsy of many lands,  greeted by many kind faces in different languages.  

Beautiful wise souls that remind me there is no lack,  only change.  

Love chose for me where I could not have chosen for myself.   When Love chooses for us it means there is a hidden treasure we are not able to perceive yet.   Enduring the tsunami means absolute trust in the power of love,  even in the peak of the confusion and pain.  

I have been broken to the bottom of dust,  I have been destroyed in my very identity,  grated like pink salt and thrown into the vastness of a new cycle.  

Thank you God.  
Thank you Grace. 
Thank you Truth. 

Someone once said the road to awakening is a destructive one.  Yes, it is.  I am the living example desire for truth can ruin your life.  But it all makes sense after a while.  Love is absolutely wise and when we ask for something for sure someone is listening. 

I'm full of gratitude for this clean slate I have been gifted with.  Now its up to me to write with a new pen... a story that will start like this

¨Once upon a time there was a soul that would never give up...¨